Over the last few years I’ve worked with a number of people whose religious experience has caused them significant difficulties. Whether brought up in fundamentalist Christian families, or as a Jehovah’s Witness, or converted to an evangelical church as a teen, these people have at some point left these religions, and find their lives impacted by what they experienced and by the sometimes painful consequences of leaving.
I’ve enjoyed working with these people – and been of help – in part because their experiences mirror my own. Though I was brought up in a secular family, as a teenager in the 1980s I became very involved in a strict, evangelical and charismatic form of Christianity which influenced every aspect of my life, from my beliefs about life, death, and meaning, to my attitudes towards sex and relationships, and, importantly, the way I felt about my self.
When I finally broke with the church, in many ways I experienced relief and a sense of freedom. I found myself free to explore the world with curiosity, to try on new ways of thinking and behaving, to have different relationships and new experiences, to feel a wider range of emotions. At the same time there were parts of me that fell into a deep despair, were ill-equipped intellectually or emotionally for adult life outside the fold, that missed community, and struggled to find purpose or meaning. This would affect me for years to come, contributing to periods of depression, addiction, and relationship turmoil.
The term “religious trauma” was only coined in 2011 by Marlene Winell, though of course the concept was known long before then (I recommend her book, Leaving The Fold). “Adverse Religious Experiences” or AREs are also now recognized by many, sometimes as a form of Adverse Childhood Experience (or ACE). The range of negative impacts that can affect people is wide: in my practice I’ve worked with people who struggle with anxiety, obsessiveness, distrust, boundary issues, difficulty accessing emotion or knowing what they want or think, impulsive secrecy and hiding, alienation from family and friends, guilt feelings, self criticism, and fear. For some, the connection with religious experiences and beliefs is clear and immediate; for others it is less obvious, but powerful all the same.
In the world of therapy, there has often been a focus on the benefits that faith, spirituality and religion can have in people’s lives, and I have certainly seen this in some of my clients. However, for many people the potential benefits are grossly outweighed by the effects of trauma, abuse, and indoctrination. If you think that your problems today may, in large or small part, be related to your experiences of religion, I can offer understanding, hope and support. Contact me today.